Dirty talk mad libs: Laugh til you cry (or bone)

They say the brain is the most important erogenous zone. And while there’s more than one way to stimulate it, one great way is with dirty talk. If you’ve ever wanted to try it but clammed up suddenly, you’re not alone. We have the perfect solution for you: dirty talk mad libs.

You could go one of two ways with this: the silly way (the “Grab my burgundy shoehorn!” way), or the actual dirty talk way, using these as a jumping off point for some truly titillating wordplay.

Here are the rules, in case you haven’t played since 5th grade: first, grab a sexual partner. Then call out the parts of speech (noun, verb, etc.) that you need to complete each sentence without telling them the whole sentence (we find it’s better if they don’t even know they’re participating in a sexy version of mad libs). Fill in the words they provide, then read the completed sentences back to them.

My (noun) is (verb)-ing just thinking about you.

I want you to (verb) my (noun) slowly until I (verb).

That feels so (adjective), you’re going to make me (verb).

I want to rip those (plural noun) off of you.

I love how your (noun) feels in my (noun).

I love the sounds you make when I’m (verb)-ing you.

I want you to (verb) me until I can’t take it anymore.

I can’t wait to (verb) you when I get home. Wait for me naked.

This weekend, I have plans to (verb) your (noun).

I love licking your (noun). You taste so (adjective).

Throw me down on the (noun) and (verb) me.

I love thinking about you pulling my (noun).

I love it when you (verb) me up against a (noun).

I can’t get enough of your big (plural noun).

I’m (verb)-ing myself just thinking about you.

Congratulations, you just achieved dirty talk.