Moving in together: How to get it right

The bed feels bigger, but the closets feel smaller. You discover that only one of you has strong feelings about the color of bath towels. You stop trying to hide every sound and scent that comes out of your body. These are just some of the things you might experience when you decide to live with someone.

Moving in together is kind of a big deal, so here’s a collection of tips on how to get it right. (That includes our own advice on how sharing a home address might be a good reason to upgrade your birth control.)

• Are you ready to be roommates? Answer these questions together and find out if you two are prepared to cohabitate. Then tackle these five questions if you need to discuss it more. Get ready: Marriage is going to come up in these questions. Don’t worry. You don’t need to get engaged first. You do need to decide what you want your future to look like and make decisions together that support your vision. (BTW, couples who make decisions together before marriage have a greater chance of a lasting marriage.)
• How will you handle paying for stuff? Here’s a short video on how to share financial responsibilities when you’re not married. Money is a huge factor in breakups, so have a plan you both understand and agree with.
• Whose furniture will you use? Combining your things and merging your design style can be tricky. This advice explains how to compromise so you’re both happy.
• What about chores? They say sharing chores is vital to a happy home life, so here’s a three-part game plan to keep the responsibilities balanced.
• How will you keep things hot week after week? Date nights, time apart, and expressing appreciation are just a few of the ways you can keep your relationship healthy after you move in together. Embracing spontaneity will help too. And here’s some good advice for couples facing a dry spell.
• Which birth control will you use? Now that you’re sharing a bed every night, you might have more sex. That’s a good reason to consider a method that’s super effective and ideal for spontaneous sex. Ask yourself: Why fumble around with birth control when I can use something easy that I get once and it lasts for years. But before you go without condoms, please make sure you and your partner/roomie take care of a few very important things, like getting tested for STIs and considering the HPV vaccine series.

Do you have advice for couples moving in together? We’d love to know what worked and what went wrong in the comments. And if you’re about to share a place, we hope your home is a happy one.

XOXO,
Bedsider

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