First impressions: How to meet their parents

They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression—and that’s true—but that kind of thinking can put a lot of pressure on you. If it’s time to finally meet their parents and you really want it to go well, but you’re kind of freaking out, here are a few simple tips to help you get through it.

• Dress code. Be authentic, but appropriate. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your unique style, but you may want to adapt it for the occasion.

• Gifts. If you’re meeting at their parents’ home—or the home of another family member or friend—bring a small gift or flowers.

• PDA. Can’t wait to get it on? Fabulous! We hope you have plenty of birth control. But you might want to keep things PG in front of the parents. Sitting around while other people snog in front of you is kind of awkward. Avoid awkward.

• Help. Setting tables. Clearing plates. Wrangling little nieces and nephews. Making sure grandma has everything she needs. Helping out shows confidence and your caring side, plus it’s a gracious, appreciative thing to do.

• Cultural sensitivities. Find out ahead of time if your partner or their family have cultural or religious traditions that they honor, from what they wear to what they eat and drink. You don’t have to instantly adopt their way of life if you come from a different background, but you can make an effort to show your respect where it makes sense.

• Oversharing. Honesty is important and we know you want to bond with these people, but it doesn’t have to happen immediately over your most intense personal stories, like the ones that make you cry or repeatedly call others the eff word. Let those stories out over time, as you get closer with the family.

• Don’t take sides. If the family is playful and outspoken, that’s one thing, but if they are argumentative and volatile, try not to jump into any battles or heated, controversial conversations. Diplomacy can be very charming. (BTW, loyalty is a great trait too, so do side with your partner when it feels right and when you won’t offend the rest of the family.)

• Be on time. Set two alarms or leave extra early if you have to.

• Be polite. This is kind of a 24/7/365 thing and not just a meeting-the-parents thing.

• Send a thank you note. Gratitude is important. Thank them for your time together.

• Be yourself. You’ve been included because you’re special to someone in that family. Try not to worry too much about meeting the folks. It’s just as important for you to like them as it is for them to like you, so show them what makes you awesome and hopefully they’ll do the same.

A new relationship with your significant other’s family can take time to develop. Try to be patient. And if they treat you poorly, that is never acceptable, so you’ll have our full support declining their future invites if that happens.

But we know they’re gonna adore you,
Bedsider

P.S. What if your parents don’t like your significant other? We can help with that too.