What’s that smell? The truth about body functions

You could hold it in and suffer. Or cover it up and pretend nothing happened. Or you could do what he does and simply let. it. out.

It doesn’t matter to us. You can be a sex bomb and a stink bomb, and we’ll still think you’re fabulous. But you probably don’t care what we think. (Which we encourage.)

It does seem like most of us do care what one person thinks. (Which we understand.) So we deny our bodily functions, keep ourselves from going #2 at their place, buy special Ph-balanced soap to make our punanni smell like honeydew melon, or we hide our odor-absorbing tampons where they’ll never see them.

Still, eventually, everybody farts and poops and smells. Here are a few ways to deal with it.

Focus on the intimacy.
If you’re doing this stuff in front of each other—and still growing closer and having sex—then you and your partner are bonded. You like each other just the way you are, smells and all. Be happy!

Focus on the humor.
On any given day there are at least 28 things you two could fight about, worry about, or take for granted. If acknowledging a funny sound or smell that came out of your body gives you something to laugh about, embrace it. Life is short. Laugh it off.

Focus on something else that really matters.
There are women among us who don’t give a feck about doing anything in front of anyone. If it’s natural, they refuse to feel shame about it. Many guys do this. Maybe more of us should adopt that stance.

And should you find yourself red-faced and mortified because something slips out at the most inopportune moment, take solace in this: You are many things. A hottie, a divine badass, a sweetheart, a smarty-pants, and sometimes you’re just beautifully, embarrassingly human. One noisy, possibly smelly incident does not define you. It happens to everyone. People forget. And in a week, month, or year, you will too.

Plus, the right person won’t care about it. They’ll only care about you.

XOXO,
Bedsider