Ask a man: Where the greatest guys we know answer more of our sex questions

Do you have a guy friend who’ll answer anything you ask with total honesty? We do. If you’ve ever wondered what men really think about lingerie or how many people you’ve slept with, read on.

Question #1: Do guys really care how many people we’ve slept with? Should we keep that number to ourselves? What number is too high?
He said: No, it doesn’t matter to us. As long as it’s less than two.

Take away this: The most awesome and understanding guy probably wants to be cool with your number, whatever it is. Simultaneously, he wants to be the only one. Or at least the best one. If the question comes up and you trust him enough to share your sexual history, we’ll always encourage honesty. But be sensitive too. Everybody wants to feel special.

Question #2: Do guys lie about their number of sex partners? Always? Sometimes?
He said: It’s more of a mathematical proposition. We don’t mean to lie or fib, but if you want our real number, apply this equation:

• Take the number we claim
  
• Divide it by two
  
• Then minus that by three
  
• And voila, you’re now half way there.
  

Take away this: Some guys think you’ll freak out because they slept with too many women. Others worry that they haven’t slept with enough women. Are you happy in this moment? Do you feel loved, respected, and treated with care? If yes, then the past—and his number—don’t matter. (But to be safe, make sure you’re using the best birth control and protecting against STIs.)

Question #3: Do most guys talk about their sex life with their bros?
He said: It’s a sliding scale that looks like this:

• One night stands: Guys are getting all the gory details. ALL OF THEM.

• Girl you sleep with once in a while: The fellas may get some juicy nuggets.

• Girl you’re in love with: Friends are getting the silent treatment. Unless of course the love you have is coming from a “I love that she pulls this move off…and it involves a harness” place. Then we’re definitely spilling the beans to anyone with ears and a pulse.

Take away this: Wherever you fall on the sliding scale, it’s important to feel good about your choices and your partners. Because you can’t control what other people think or say, but you can control what you think, say, feel, and do. So if you’re cool, confident, and comfortable with your sex life, that’s all that matters.

Question #4: Does lingerie really matter? Do you judge us if we wear boring bras and underwear?
He said: We aren’t fashionistas. It’s actually more important not to go to the other end of the spectrum—sweatpants and curlers are a definite turn off.

Take away this: Don’t bust out the Princess Tam Tam for him. Wear it for you if it makes you feel luxurious, sexy, empowered, or coquettish. Or get comfy in sweats and curlers if that’s your thing. But for the sake of any relationship, aim for balance. Show off all your styles, from comfy to dressy to naughty to sporty and beyond. Mixing things up from time to time will keep you out of a rut.

Question #5: When we do wear lingerie, do guys feel like it makes a difference in the quality of sex?
He said: If it helps with foreplay and creates a level of escalating excitement—then hell yes. The warm up to the game usually determines the quality of play.

Take away this:
Whatever you feel, you exude. When you feel like a smoking hot sex bomb, you are a smoking hot sex bomb. So, if lingerie helps with that, wear it. Or bunny slippers. Or your favorite t-shirt. Or anything else that makes you feel hot. If you feel good in bed, the sex feels even better.

Question #6: How do guys feel when a girl asks them out or makes the first move in general?
He said: Relieved. If it’s awkward or she’s embarrassed, even better. It’s great to watch the other gender suffer through our daily hardships.

Take away this: If you’re feeling it and really want to ask a guy out, do it. Most can handle it. Some will love it. All of them would be lucky to date you.

Question #7: Would you date your best friend’s ex-girlfriend?
He said: Every guy will tell you no straight away, but you really have to know the context. Most people would never ever consider it. Not for a second. But, if you felt that this was the one—the girl you were gonna grow old with and love forever, then I think a lot of guys would take that leap, even though they would never admit it. You’d have to be sure though, because in gaining that girlfriend, you’re losing that best friend forever.

Take away this: It’s always good to think about how your actions impact others—and to behave in a way that is compassionate and responsible—but if you genuinely develop deep feelings for someone, you owe it to yourself to explore that relationship. Just be aware of possible consequences. (That’s a good thing to remember in general.)

XOXO,
Bedsider