What if: Answers to a few vexing sex questions

What if my guy smells?
Well, there’s “Ooops, you’re kinda sweaty and smell a little” and then there’s “OMFG! Your body odor is demonic!”

If your guy is just a bit smelly, you can always suggest a shower for two prior to sex. You soaping him up feels like foreplay, but it’s also making him smell all sorts of delicious. If there’s no time for a shower, have him lie down, grab a warm washcloth with a little soap, and clean him up. (He won’t complain about the manhandling.)

Now, if your guy has a super funky body odor prob, then you’ll have to try a more sensitive approach like this: Tell him how much you want him and love the sex, but if he smelled better you’d want him EVEN MORE. Explain how body and clothes should smell good enough for getting really, really close and getting it on. Then buy him some detergent, deodorant, and body wash, and have him try them out before your next adventure in the bedroom. If he smells good, your enthusiasm, compliments, and attention to detail down under will motivate him to clean up his act.

What if he’s a bad kisser?
He can be taught! Don’t give up! Seriously, it’s all about practice and subtle communication. The next time you’re up for a classic make out session and he fumbles the kiss, stop. Then whisper these four words, “Kiss me like this.” And slowly—s l o w l y—give him the kiss you’re dying to get from him. And do it over and over again until he starts doing it back. If he starts to mess it up, stop. Then whisper those words again and kiss more. Encouragement is encouraged. “I love it when you use your tongue like that,” will get him to use his tongue like that. Have faith. If you really like him, you will find your kissing style as a couple.

What if he wants me to shave my vadge?
Um. Do you want to shave your vadge? Hair politics and social pressure aside, if you’re into it and he’s into it, then go for it. If you prefer a little landing strip or big ol’ bush, keep it real and maintain your bikini area however you want. Like all things related to your body, it’s your choice. He is either in or out, and if he’s a worthwhile guy, he’s in. P.S. There’s nothing wrong with doing a little something to mix it up and fulfill one of his fantasies, so if you do decide to shave it off, be careful! Razor burn sucks. You may want to consider a professional full Brazilian wax instead.

What if he hates using birth control?
Well, first you’ve got to ask why. Then you’ve got to ask if that means he’s had unprotected sex. If his reason for disliking birth control is about sensation or spontaneity, you can have a lot of fun trying many different birth control methods until you find one that feels right for both of you. If his reason seems risky, immature, misinformed, or selfish, perhaps you should discuss it further and see if the two of you are really a good fit after all. If he has had unprotected sex outside of your relationship, both of you should get tested for STIs just to be safe. And never forget: A guy not wanting to use birth control is a lame reason not to use it yourself. You need to look out for you and protect yourself against STIs and pregnancy. Pleasing him is not more important than that.

You know it’s true,
Bedsider