8 ways you can support your pregnant BFF

Congratulations! You just found out your bestie is pregnant and planning to parent, and that means you’re about to be an honorary auntie! However, there are ten (yes, ten) months in a pregnancy before the baby arrives, and your friend will need your support while baking a bun in the oven. What is the best way to help when someone you love is pregnant? Every pregnancy is different, so any advice on how to be there for a pregnant person should be tweaked to fit them best. Get ready for your auntie era, bb. It’s going to be the best!

1. Be a good listener

Sure, being a good listener is Friendship 101, but pregnancy is a whole new ball game. Your BFF may go through a range of different emotions after discovering the pregnancy, and sometimes they may need someone to talk to about everything they’re feeling and thinking. That may include happiness or sadness (or both) about being pregnant at all. They may even change their mind about wanting to carry the pregnancy to term. You can help your friend by listening to them as they process the changes in their life.

2. Go to prenatal appointments with them

Pregnancy journeys can begin in many different ways—between committed partners, from casual sex, from solo IVF, or from other situations or arrangements. Your friend may or may not have a partner to attend prenatal visits with them. Ask your bestie if they could use support in that area.

3. Organize and throw a baby shower

Baby showers are one of the most fun parts of being an auntie-in-waiting. You can coordinate with your friend’s family to throw them a party that will celebrate the coming little one. If your BFF’s community is mostly composed of chosen family, or if their biological family lives out-of-town, then organize a local community baby shower instead. Be sure to check in with your friend for input on themes and who to invite.

4. Buy them a coveted baby item

One of the best parts of being close to a pregnant friend is your proximity when your friend mentions something they would love to have as they prep for the baby. Keep your ears peeled and send them that special thing when they’re least expecting it!

5. Ask them how they feel about outings

Pregnancy can change the way a pregnant person interacts with the world and vice versa. They’re the same, but not quite. It can be challenging to navigate whether your friend will want to go to the same kinds of events with you as before. The best thing you can do is ask them if they want to be included in outings, rather than assume they can’t or won’t go simply because they’re pregnant. They will know what their tolerance level is from day to day.

6. Be their advocate

It’s a huge honor when your BFF wants you in the room when they give birth. But this is about more than being where the action is. Childbirth is a very vulnerable time, and your friend may need your help communicating with birthing staff, seeing to their comfort, and encouraging them. Talk to your friend ahead of time about their birthing plan and what they want their childbirth experience to be like. You could be a valuable advocate for them when it counts the most.

7. Do something special for your BFF that’s unrelated to the baby

Preparing for a baby takes a lot of work and resources, and most folks’ attention will be on gathering baby items before the big arrival. But having a baby can be an identity-shifting event for the new parent. Some expecting parents experience depression or anxiety. It can be helpful to reaffirm your friend outside of parenthood by doing something special for them unrelated to the pregnancy. That could be a friend date, a spa day, or just a treat you know they love.

8. Pledge your undying love and support for all eternity

Just kidding, we know you already did that a long time ago! A baby can definitely change the dynamic between friends, but it doesn’t have to be in a negative way. If your heart’s in it, let your bestie know that you’re now more than just their friend: you’re a member of their new baby’s community. Offer to be an emergency contact. Volunteer to babysit when the new parent needs a break. Knowing you’re in their corner for pregnancy and beyond will make your pregnant BFF feel loved and cared for.

Prepping for auntie life is a big job, but there’s no better person in the world than you to do it.