A text for every dating scenario you’ll face this summer

Ugh, dating. While it definitely has its perks, figuring out how to communicate with a relative stranger via text is not one of them. It’s so easy to leave things up in the air when you didn’t mean to, to imply that you want something more when you don’t, or to accidentally declare your love when all you wanted to do was grab a drink. We’ve put together some examples of texts you can use in different dating scenarios, whether you’re looking for a casual hookup, you’re interested in a relationship, or you just want to be friends.

1. The playful hook-up invitation

The scenario: You’re interested in some fun with no strings attached.

The text: “Hey [Name], ever been to [fun place/restaurant]? Want to check it out and see where the night takes us? 😉”

Why It Works: This script is light, playful, and leaves room for mutual interest. It sets a fun tone and makes your intentions clear without being pushy.

2. The “let’s keep it casual”

The scenario: You enjoy someone’s company but aren’t looking for a relationship.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve been having a great time hanging out with you. I wanted to let you know that I’m into keeping things casual and fun, and I’m not looking for a relationship right now. Let me know if that works for you!”

Why It Works: Directness with a positive spin helps to set expectations and avoid misunderstandings. It shows respect for the other person’s feelings while making your stance clear.

3. The “hint hint”

The scenario: You’ve been talking to someone, and you want to drop a hint that you’re interested in more.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve really enjoyed our chats. Would love to [grab a drink/get some food/do something else fun] sometime and see if the vibe is just as good in person!”

Why It Works: This message sets you up for a smooth transition from texting to an in-person meeting, indicating interest without coming on too strong.

4. The friends-first proposal

The scenario: You want to get to know someone better but prefer starting as friends.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve really enjoyed our conversations and think you’re awesome. I’d love to keep getting to know each other as friends for a while before deciding if there’s more there. Want to meet up [in the park/at a cafe] later?”

Why It Works: It sets a clear expectation for a platonic hangout, giving you time to build a connection without rushing into anything.

5. The gentle letdown

The scenario: You’re not interested in pursuing things further with someone, but you do want to let them down easy.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I want to be honest—I’m not feeling the connection I was hoping for. Best of luck with [something they told you they’re going to do]!”

Why It Works: Honesty is key, and being direct allows you to let someone down respectfully without ghosting.

6. The big one

The scenario: You’ve been casually dating someone and now want to make things official.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve really enjoyed our time together and feel a strong connection. I’d love to take another step and see each other exclusively. Want to discuss tonight?”

Why It Works: It’s clear, direct, and sets the stage for an important conversation about commitment.

7. The icebreaker

The scenario: You want to start a conversation with someone new but aren’t sure how to approach it.

The text: “Hey [Name], I saw your post about [interest or hobby]—I’m also into [same interest or hobby]! What got you into it?”

Why It Works: It shows genuine interest in the other person and provides a natural conversation starter.

8. The “just checking in”

The scenario: Things have gone quiet, and you want to check in with someone you’ve been dating casually.

The text: “Hey [Name], just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. I’ve been thinking about our last [date/hangout] and wanted to see if you have any free time to get together this week.”

Why It Works: It’s casual but thoughtful, keeping the lines of communication open without any pressure.

9. The boundary setter

The scenario: You need some space from someone you’re dating, but want to leave the option open to continue seeing them.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I need some time and space. I’ll reach back out when I’ve had a chance to sort things out!”

Why It Works: This message is clear about needing space while not laying blame on the other person—and not giving the impression that it’s over over.

10. The clarification

The scenario: Things have started to get confusing, and you want to know what they’re thinking.

The text: “Hey [Name], I’m having a great time with you! Just curious—how are you feeling about things between us?”

Why It Works: Short and sweet.