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It’s ok to love babies and be on birth control at the same time

We love babies.

We’ll snuggle them; make them smile; wipe drool; sniff their yummy/sweet baby scent; bounce them in our arms for hours when nothing else will calm them; buy them funny hats; change stinky diapers; and let them teethe on our clean fingers if Sophie the Giraffe isn’t around.

That doesn’t mean we’re ready to have one of our own. Yet.

But, that doesn’t stop moms, dads, friends, aunties, grandmas, neighbors, and other assorted folk from asking when we’re gonna have one. They’ll do it when we have a great significant other who’d make a good parent. They ask when they think we’re getting too old. (Just say no to the baby panic.) They’ll give us “the look” when we’re holding our cousin’s kid. And our friend, who is already ready, asks because she wants us to have kids at the same time.

The truth is, all of that is fine. Let them ask. Questions you can handle. The financial, social, and physical impact of a baby is much harder to deal with. That’s why it’s smart to wait until you know you can handle having one.

So yeah. Babies rule. So does having one on your own terms, on your own timeline. When you’re ready you’ll know it. And if you’re never ready, you’ll know that too. Until then, staying on birth control is a great plan of action while you’re getting action. But if you get asked the “When are you going to have children?” question a lot, here are a few funny answers we like:

“Every time someone asks me that, I put it off another year.”

“It’s not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can't talk about it and I can't tell you why." (Say it in a whisper and drive them crazy.)

And the old standby, “When I’m ready. Why do you want to know?”

How do you handle baby pressure? Does it make you avoid the little ones so you don’t have to deal with the baby questions? Got any good comebacks when somebody asks you “when?”

Remember, always do what’s right for you,
Bedsider

P.S. Wondering if there’s a better birth control method for you? Explore your options.

For repeat offenders one must sometimes go darker, such as: -My ex-husband & children have died so recently, that I can not consider more children at this time. -Maybe after I find my ex-husband who kidnapped our two boys, I will consider having another child. -Two girls is great for me!  ..  My girls are right here.  Can't you see them? 

2011-06-17 16:57:14 UTC

sunnycc

I adopted 4 children, well they are adults now. What I tell them if they ask why I don't have my own

2011-06-17 19:43:26 UTC

Autylove

After saying I've adopted 4, well they are adults now. I tell them the truth, I'm a lesbian, this is the closest I'll come to having children. I will not use a turkey baster as a friend did. 

2011-06-17 19:47:29 UTC

Autylove

Yes, I love babies . . .in their place. So long as they are not in my place. Hey, if you all want to do something green go to an animal shelter and adopt an unwanted animal for a pet. You will be doing something for our planet (keeping the population down) and giving an unwanted animal a home. Trust me a pet will give you more unconditional love than a baby ever will. The only thing a baby can give you are needs (to be met). BTW I had a vasectomy. I practice what I preach. Put the burden on the fools who give you baby pressure. Neal Bracken 1nbracken@gmail.com

2011-06-17 21:49:34 UTC

1nbracken

My best pick up line; Wanna go in halfies on a baby?

2011-06-18 02:47:30 UTC

Opusinterra

After fielding that question from an Aunt for several years, I finally told her the "The mother of my children has not yet been born..."!  She stopped asking after that.

2011-06-18 16:00:24 UTC

Babaluui

I get this all the time.  My husband is 12 years older than me we have good jobs and in everyone else's mind that means I should be having a kid right now.  For the most part I just tell the truth.  "I don't want one."  They of course are always saying that will change.  So, then I resort to refering to a child as "it"  and at that point they pretty much stop asking me to have a child.

2011-06-19 00:11:43 UTC

Offredred84

I found out a while ago that the best form of birth control I found recently was talking with a gal I went to high school with, who is a few years older than me.  She and another old friend of mine each already have three children, and have not yet hit 30.  When asked if I had or wanted children, I replied, "no, not yet; I haven't yet found the guy I wanted to impregnate me."  Considering that she hadn't asked the question as politely as I rephrased it here, I refrained from telling her the ruder answer I badly wanted to say. I have one answer I''d like to use, if asked when I'm having kids.  "No, I haven't gone through the books of sperm donor information yet.  Considering the number of books, it's going to take me a while."

2011-06-19 06:16:31 UTC

Deceptivemirror

Best comeback to nagging baby questions: "Our doctor said we can't get pregnant until our STD is cleared up, and every time we think it's gone, my wife/husband sleeps around and picks up a new case."

2011-06-20 02:59:23 UTC

Lee

I had to repeat myself unwaveringly for YEARS and years before people in my family and friends finally got the picture and stopped asking. When am I having kids? NEVER. EVER. Why not? I don't like them and I don't want them.

2011-06-20 15:46:04 UTC

Strad27

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